so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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