He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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