if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
