I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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