I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
