i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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