Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
