I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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