Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
