I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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