I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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