I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
