marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
