i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
