You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
