That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
