I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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