Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
