His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
