I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Randomize
