she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
