Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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