im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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