we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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