Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Randomize