I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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