but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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