Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
