ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
