she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
home. puking in laundry basket.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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