I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
