Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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