And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
