i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize