I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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