Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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