hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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