I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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