I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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