He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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