thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
