hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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