dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize