So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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