I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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