I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize