you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
We're too hungover to prance.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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