I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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