i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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