I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize
