porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Randomize
