If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
