apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Randomize
