I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
