haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize