We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
