At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize