like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
