I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
