shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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