Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
