This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
