This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize