I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
