How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
