no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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