It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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