it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
