I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
