Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
